


Pathetic

by Xazz



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga), Devilman Crybaby - Fandom
Genre: First Kiss, Groping, Hand Jobs, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Pining, Smoking, longing look, makeout, smoke tricks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 15:25:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13616205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xazz/pseuds/Xazz
Summary: People say Akira looks different now. Intimidating. Scary even. He attempts to live up to the image but he's way too nice to be a delinquent or even act a bit mean. But he tries anyway and tries to pick up a bad habit. Ryo just thinks he looks ridiculous.





	Pathetic

**Author's Note:**

> My friend Ray mentioned to me that her friend sounds just like Akira and vapes and the idea wouldn't go the fuck away lols
> 
> Also said friend Ray drew some [REALLY GREAT ART FOR IT](https://xazz.tumblr.com/post/170662705648)

There was a new scientific journal out today Ryo was interested in. It was about archeology and an old church that had been unearthed in eastern Europe full of skeletons arranged in some sort of ritualistic manner. He had his fingers folded in front of his mouth, leaning on his knees, scanning through the new journal. Now and then he’d lower his hand to drag the screen down a bit. He glanced up when the doorbell started ringing. He saw Jenny come from somewhere, he didn’t keep track of Jenny too closely, she tended to come and go but was always there when needed,While she got the door he went back to the journal.

“Hey, Ryo,” Akira called as he came in. Jenny looked them over before leaving to wherever Jenny went when she wasn’t helping Ryo.

“Ah, Akira,” Ryo’s mouth curved into something that was almost a smile and he lowered his hands. “What are you doing here?”

“What? I can’t visit my buddy for non-demon related stuff?” Akira asked.

Ryo just shrugged a little. “I am not your entertainment,” was all he said and picked his laptop up and put it on his lap.

Akira fell onto the couch next to him with a sigh, “You’re no fun, Ryo.”

“That doesn’t stop you from bothering me,” Ryo said, trying to get back to his journal. It was incredibly difficult with Akira around. Akira was talking but he wasn’t quite sure what about. Something about how now that he was the devilman everyone said he looked different, scary even. Ryo was trying to focus on his journal but kept glancing over at Akira because he was playing with something in his hands. The movement was a distraction. That was what Ryo told himself at least. His head turned when Akira put what looked like a pen up to his mouth and then blew out smoke. “What’s that?”

“Weren’t you listening, Ryo?”

“To your rambling, not usually,” Ryo lied.

Akira rolled his eyes at him. “People have been saying I look different lately in this body,” he put a hand across his sternum and Ryo’s eyes went right to it. His big hand practically covered his entire chest. “Meaner, scarier,” he rolled his eyes and Ryo barely caught it. “So I thought maybe I should go along with it. Better to be scary than a crybaby.”

“But you aren’t scary, and you are a crybaby,” Ryo said blandly.

“Ryo! You don’t have to say it like that,” Akira groaned.

“So you’re attempting to look like those thugs who were harassing Makimura now?” Ryo said and turned back to his computer. Akira was uninteresting now.

“No,” Akira huffed. “I was just thinking maybe it’d be nice not to be known as a crybaby all the time.”

“You are a crybaby, Akira,” Ryo said, putting his hands on his stomach to give them something to do and keep them from being as distracting as Akira’s. He was back to reading the journal.

Akira just gave a wordless groan of annoyance but didn’t counter him. Instead, he got off the couch. “You got any food around here? I’m starving!”

“In the kitchen, where food is kept, Akira,” Ryo said.

“You’re just such a ray of sunshine, huh Ryo?”

Ryo didn’t lift his head but did look up at him from the side of his eye, “Would you prefer I be more like Makimura?” he asked almost like a threat.

“Jeech, you don’t have to be like that about it,” Akira sighed and wandered into the kitchen. Ryo went back to his paper and ignoring Akira.

Akira banged around in the kitchen for a few minutes and then came back out and sat on the end of the couch to eat a sandwich that could barely be called a sandwich. It was basically a steak between two slices of bread. Ryo found himself half turned to watch Akira but didn’t disturb him as he inhaled the food like he’d never eaten in his life. Then when he was done he took out his little black cigarette looking thing and tried it a bit. It took him a few tries to get anything but a little wisp of smoke to come out. Ryo felt a smile tug at his lips when he inhaled so hard he made himself cough.

“Careful with that, Akira, you might choke.”

“Thanks for the concern,” Akira said and coughed some more. The air around him smelled like cherry candy and sulfur. A fully unpleasant smell all things considered but Ryo didn’t comment on it. Akira had smelled worse when covered in ichor and smelling like sweat and sulfur. Ryo leaned back on the couch and folded one leg over the other, tipping his laptop screen back some to get back to the matter at him. After a few minutes, Akira said, “Hey, Ryo, look at this.” Ryo thought maybe he should tell Akira to just shut up or leave. Instead, he looked over at him. Akira took a puff on the e-pen and Ryo felt his mouth go kinda dry when he made a perfect, fat, smoke ring. “Pretty impressive, huh?”

“You can control fire, Akira, I’m hardly surprised,” Ryo said, pointedly looking away. He felt Akira pouting at him but ignored him.

Akira muttered under his breath and entertained himself. It didn’t take long for Ryo to get distracted by his movement at the corner of his eye. He kept glancing over to see what he was doing. Akira was trying to do more complex smoke tricks for the hell of it. He was surprisingly good at it and Ryo knew the sort of mouth and tongue dexterity you needed to pull them off. He looked back at his journal stubbornly and changed which leg was over which. He looked back over about half an hour later to find Akira had partially transformed and was sitting on the ground. His horns curled out from his messy black hair and his skin was indigo but he wasn’t fully taken over by Amun. He was still doing smoke tricks but now that he was in his devil form he had more control over it and was blowing spirals around his tail.

Ryo just sat and watched him, silent. It turned into less of a blown smoke trick and more into Akira manipulating the heat inside the smoke. He was very good at the tail spirals and as the heat and color of the smoke dissipated he blew some more down around his tail. That was entertaining to him for a little while before he leaned back against the front of the couch and tried blowing a dragon out of the smoke. It didn’t work out and it just turned into a big smoke cloud with only roughly dragon-like shapes. Akira turned and looked at Ryo like he felt Ryo watching him and Ryo quickly looked away. Hopefully Akira hadn’t actually seen him.

Akira turned back into his human form and sat on the couch. He was shirtless, not unusual after a transformation. He tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling, looking like he was thinking hard. Ryo had no idea what Akira could be thinking about. Akira sometimes had as much going on in his head as the smoke coming out of that ridiculous fake cigarette he thought made him look tough. Ryo knew better. He knew Akira was a big, soft, crybaby. His eyes were trained on the profile of his throat when Akira lifted his hand to his mouth and took a puff. He missed the fact that Akira was giving him the same look out of the corner of his eye Ryo was failing to do right now.

“Well,” Akira said abruptly, leaned forward, and grabbed his shirt off the coffee table. He pulled it over his head. “This was fun, Ryo, I’ll catch you later,” and he shrugged to his feet. That new body of his made it so easy and effortless like he was doing the space a favor by standing there.

He looked up at Akira briefly with his easy-going smile, way too casual and friendly for what Ryo knew lurked just under his skin. “Bye,” Ryo said. Akira grinned, gave him a little wave and walked out.

Only when Akira was gone did Ryo put his laptop on the coffee table, lean back on the couch and look up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes with a sigh, Akira’s friendly face came to mind and the many time Ryo had seen him shirtless. It was sort of impossible not to. Turning into Amun always ripped his shirt and sometimes his pants. Ryo did his best not to look. He uncrossed his legs and undid his belt buckle. He grunted and tentatively wrapped his fingers around his dick. He didn’t do this very often. Or he hadn’t. It was becoming a more regular thing since he’d brought Akira back into his life.

Ryo whined a bit in the back of his throat as he jerked himself off, shifting around on the couch. The air still smelled like Akira’s stupid cherry and sulfur smoke. He kept his eyes closed and tried to not make too much noise so Jenny wouldn’t come out and see what he was doing now that Akira wasn’t around making noise. When he kept his eyes closed he could almost pretend it was Akira.

Ryo would never admit to whimpering but when he rolled onto his side on the couch, partially curled around his hand on his dick, he absolutely whimpered. Akira was such an annoying person sometimes. Doing this to Ryo. No consideration at all. And yet Ryo hated Akira the least out of anyone he knew. He was perfectly content for Akira to just be around, all the time. Ryo couldn’t even say the same for Jenny. He hated when Akira had to leave. He really should have stayed. And what? Helped? He covered his mouth to muffle a bit louder of a whimper when he came and made a mess on his hand.

Taking his hand out of his pants Ryo let out a long breath. He got up and went to clean himself up so he was orderly again and went back to the couch. The scientific journal was still there waiting for him to finish. He sat down neatly and got back to what he’d been doing before Akira came and bothered him.

—

He didn’t see Akira for a few days after that. That was a bit annoying. He liked when Akira was around. Ryo found other things to take his mind off of him. Better that way than to worry about him. It was pretty late when Akira stopped by again. Jenny had already gone home for the night, which was just in another apartment in the building. Ryo had to let him in and he smelled like mint gum. He never knew Akira was a gum chewer and that annoyed him. Ryo liked to think he knew everything about Akira. “You’re stopping by late,” he said mildly.

“Not like you ever sleep,” Akira shot back at him.

Ryo gave him an unamused look as he closed the door. “I sleep.”

“Could’a fooled me,” he smirked at Ryo and he didn’t appreciate the way that made his chest feel.

“You got any food in here?” and he went sniffing around to the kitchen.

“Are the Makimura’s not feeding you now?” Ryo asked, only sort of trailing behind him.

“Yeah but I want meat. I know my buddy Ryo’s always got meat around,” and he flashed Ryo one of his good smiles that brought Ryo up short. “Growing demons need meat you know,” he joked.

“Help yourself then,” Ryo said and went back to the living room where he’d been watching the news. He settled down but wasn’t really paying attention to the television. He was watching it but was listening to Akira in the kitchen. Eventually, Akira came out with leftovers of Ryo’s lunch from yesterday. Takeout purukogi don where they hadn’t been light with the beef or the rice and a tall glass of water. An intrusive thought poked its way through his head to his thinking mind that Akira was a tall glass of water and he made a disgusted grimace.

“What’s with the look?” Akira asked.

“Nothing,” Ryo said. He couldn’t believe he’d had such a basic thought. Jenny was right. Those shows he’d been trying to watch to get to understand Akira a bit better was going to rot his mind. “I just thought of something unpleasant.”

“Must’ve been,” Akira snickered and ate the purukogi don while watching the news with Ryo in silence.

When Akira was finished he pulled out his stupid fake cigarette again. Ryo looked out of the corner of his eye at the way Akira’s lips formed around the rod. This time when he blew out smoke he _could_ make a dragon. At least for a few seconds. Ryo swallowed. He found himself staring while Akira entertained himself with simpler smoke tricks. Ryo could just barely make out the way his tongue curled in his mouth to make the rings. He put one leg over the other.

After a few minutes Akira looked at him. “Wanna try?” he asked. Shit. He’d been noticed.

“No. Those things are bad for your lungs,” he responded automatically. When Akira had left last time he’d done a bit of research about fake cigarettes and while they weren’t as bad for you as regular cigarettes they weren’t great for you either.

“You sure? You looked really interested,”

“I’m fine,” he looked away from Akira again, back at the news. Akira moved closer to him on the couch. He leaned over and Ryo’s brows came down in a scowl when Akira blew a little cloud of peppermint and sulfur smelling smoke around his head. Unlike the candy cherry flavor from last time the peppermint smell was tolerable with the sulfur and masked it better. He leveled an unamused look at Akira, “Stop that.”

Akira just smirked and Ryo swore he could see horns starting to poke through Akira’s hair. “Make me,” he challenged and Akira blew another heavy puff of peppermint smoke into his face now. It curled around Ryo’s face almost like fingers. Was Akira doing that?

What the _fuck_ was Ryo supposed to do when given that? Ryo knew his… interpersonal abilities were lacking. Which was annoying when it came to Akira. He really didn’t want Akira to stop but it was the principle of the thing that he wanted Akira to know it off. “Do you really want me to?”

Akira chuckled, “I’d love to see you try,” he said, all superior. Ryo didn’t like that. Akira wasn’t better than him because he was a devilman. And his stupid e-cigarette was annoying. Akira didn’t need to act tough. He just needed to act like Akira.

“Okay,” Ryo said. “Stop that, and be quiet while you’re at it.”

“Make me-

Ryo kissed him. Because he couldn’t be a smart ass if his mouth was busy. It was an _incredibly_ stupid idea. Ryo knew it was stupid the second he did it. He normally wasn’t so impulsive. Maybe Akira was starting to rub off on him. At the very least this would make Akira stop. It didn’t occur to him until he was in the middle of kissing him that this might weird Akira out and he’d leave. He hadn’t meant to make Akira leave.

It took him a full three seconds to realize the kiss hadn’t ended. Akira was still kissing him. Ryo had his eyes open and Akira was definitely kissing him. Akira also had his eyes closed. Right. It was weird if you kissed someone with your eyes open. Ryo closed his eyes. He was surprised when Akira put his hand on his chest and pushed Ryo back. No. Not back. Down. Ryo laid back on the couch and was followed by Akira’s impatient, kissing, mouth, his other hand cupping the side of Ryo’s face.

Ryo had never really kissed anyone before. He was sure Akira hadn’t either. He wasn’t even sure if it was a bad kiss. Akira didn’t seem to mind.

Ryo opened his eyes slowly when Akira stopped kissing him. He was propped up a bit on an elbow over him, straddling his waist. Ryo swallowed thickly. Ryo was just laying there and it was easy to forget that Akira was taller than him now, and more muscular, in this body he shared with Amon. Ryo felt very fragile in his skinny, soft, human body. “You know, Ryo,” Akira said and licked his lips in the most distracting way, “you don’t just have to lay there like a corpse.”

“Eh?” Real intelligent. Astounding addition, Ryo.

Akira snickered but it wasn’t mean. He took one of Ryo’s hands and pressed it against his side. “You can touch too.” Ryo felt the strangest sensation. His face grew warm. He blushed. Akira grinned at him but didn’t say anything. Akira bent down and kissed him again. Ryo liked that better. It meant Akira couldn’t see his flushed face. His hand squeezed Akira’s shirt along his flank.

Ryo coughed a little, sputtering like an idiot when Ryo put his tongue in his mouth. His breath tasted like sulfur. “Gross,” he said, turning his head away from Akira.

“It’s just kissing, Ryo,” Akira said.

“Your breath tastes bad. Like brimstone,” Ryo said, not looking at him. He also wasn’t about to admit that someone else’s tongue in your mouth felt _weird_.

“Hmm,” Akira leaned over to the side so he was sort of wedged between Ryo and the back of the couch. Ryo still had his shirt grasped tightly in his fist. He pulled the plastic cigarette out from somewhere. Ryo couldn’t even pretend to look away. He stared at Akira as he put it in his mouth and when he blew out a puff of smoke it was heady peppermint. His fingers tightened around the fabric of his shirt. The way Akira’s lips wrapped around the rod was very inconsiderate to Ryo. “What? You like it?” Ryo didn’t say anything. Akira leaned over him again, “You know I saw you watching me, Ryo. What do you think?”

“It isn’t unpleasant to look at,” Ryo said.

That made Akira laugh. Why would he laugh? Ryo hadn’t even said anything funny. It was a true observation. Perhaps not a _completely_ true observation but true enough. “Okay then,” he said, voice reedy, he leaned down again, taking the cigarette out of his mouth. Ryo’s eyes closed, his mouth opening a bit. He wanted another kiss. Akira’s lips brushed against his and his eyes opened when instead of kissing him Akira blew smoke into his mouth. He couldn’t help it and inhaled the peppermint and sulfur smoke. Akira pressed a kiss against his lips and when he breathed out it was the last of the vapor as thin, nearly invisible, smoke. Ryo felt his face get very hot again and he shifted under and against Akira who by virtue of basically laying on him was holding him down.

“Don’t do that,” Ryo said.

“What? This?” and Akira, the shit head he was with just his horns popping out from his hair, kissed him. This time when he put his tongue in Ryo’s mouth his sulfur breath was covered by the strong peppermint taste. When he pulled back Ryo opened his eyes a little and he felt the heat of his face creep up his ears as smoke trailed between their mouths. “You like it,” Akira said, satisfied with that. Ryo had no answer for that. He kinda did. Akira kissed him again, this time there was no smoke. Ryo grabbed the other side of his shirt. His hand hurt from clenching the fabric in the first hand.

While kissing him Akira ran his hand along Ryo’s arm to his hand. He gently unclenched it from the shirt and put it _under_ his shirt against his skin. Akira’s skin was very hot and very soft. Akira did the same to him and pulled his shirt out from where it was tucked into his white jeans and slipped his long-fingered hand up under his shirt. Ryo groaned a little. He normally hated people touching him. He didn’t like when people touched or grabbed him or his clothes. They were so messy or rough or he just didn’t like their sticky hands on him. It felt really good to have Akira touch him. He wanted Akira to touch him. Touch him more.

“A-Akira,” Ryo groaned a little when Akira started kissing his neck and throat. His mouth was hot against his cool skin. He wasn’t sure how his skin was cool when he felt so warm. Akira was just warmer. He had hellfire inside of him. That made sense.

“Yeah, Ryo?” Akira’s voice was rough, out of breath almost. He looked up at him with his pale brown eyes and Ryo hated his face. The color had gone down some but when Akira looked at him like that it did things to him he didn’t really understand. The color returned to his cheeks. Akira grinned at him. “You’re real cute, you know,” and he kissed Ryo’s chin and then his mouth again before Ryo could think of something to say. Ryo went back to uselessly grabbing at his shirt. This was where he liked Akira. Kissing him.

“You taste like sulfur again,” Ryo complained after a few minutes.

“Oh no,” Akira snickered and sucked on the plastic cigarette again. Ryo groaned when Akira blew some of the smoke into his mouth before kissing him.

Tentatively he let go of Akira’s shirt and wrapped his arms around his neck and shoulders. Akira pressed his hand under his shirt along his flank, riding his white button-up up. His hand felt strong and Ryo wasn’t that. He had a soft, squishy, human body. For a moment the thought of Akira’s claws came to his mind and how they could rip through his flesh so easily. Ryo squirmed a bit and Akira pressed a firm hand down on his chest to stop his wiggling. Would Akira do other things to him like this? “Akira,” he said softly when they came up to breathe.

“What is it, Ryo?”

Why’d he had to think that thought? He was perfectly happy with Akira just kissing him and touching his chest. But what if Akira _would_ do other things to him? He knew the claw thing was out of the question. His Akira was too sweet and kind. Even possessed by the demon Amon he was so nice and soft. Despite everything that was Ryo’s favorite thing about Akira. That he was so kind to everyone. Even people like Ryo. “Um—“ he looked away briefly. He didn’t like feeling unsure like this. It was driving him crazy. He was always so sure of himself. He always knew what to do, what to say. He didn’t know what to do now. When he didn’t say anything Akira started kissing his face and around his jaw and he shivered when Akira nibbled on his neck. Amon wasn’t just projecting himself as horns now but as a pair of rather large teeth as well. He gripped the back of Akira’s shirt and hated himself for the whimpering. “Akira— get off my legs,” he managed to form some actual words.

“Hmm? Yeah, sure. They falling asleep?” Akira asked and picked himself off of Ryo some. He seemed genuinely apologetic about making Ryo’s legs potentially fall asleep too. Akira’s brows went up a bit when Ryo moved his legs to fit over Akira’s thighs. “Heh, you could have just said something, Ryo,” Akira said with a devil of a smirk and ran his hand from down Ryo’s chest to his pants. He sat up properly to use both hands to unbuckle Ryo’s belt. Ryo swallowed as Akira pulled his shirt out the rest of the way. A gasp escaped his mouth when Akira pressed his hand down inside Ryo’s pants and briefs. “You just had to ask,” Akira leaned back over him, his hand working slowly inside Ryo’s pants. Ryo’s hands gripped the back of Akira’s shirt so hard his knuckles turned white. Akira kissed him soft and gentle again, still touching him.

It didn’t… take very long. His fingers relaxed their grip on Akira’s back when he came and Akira kissed his neck so he could breathe. It felt good but Ryo was disappointed in himself. He’d wanted Akira to do that for a while now and it was already over. Akira didn’t even mind that he’d made a mess all over his hand and his thumb was still lightly working back and forth over the head. It made him shiver and squirm a little. “Akira, stop that,” he said.

“But my hand feels good down here,” Akira said to be more annoying than anything. “I like touching you, Ryo,” he said softly and kissed his jaw. Ryo nodded shakily. He liked Akira touching him too.

Ryo looked up at Akira, “Do you want me to touch you too?” he asked.

“Ah—“ Akira got very awkward and pulled his hand out of Ryo’s pants. “Yes but probably not a great idea.”

“Why not?” Ryo didn’t understand. It was a horrible, frustrating feeling not knowing things.

“I uh— the demon inside me makes it a lot— messier,” he said and now he seemed very uncomfortable with this entire thing. Had something happened? Ryo wanted to ask but he knew Akira well enough to know Akira wouldn’t tell him if he was this embarrassed.

“Oh.”

“Uh— I’m gonna go wash my hands,” and then like that Akira was off of him. Without his warm body over him Ryo was reminded how chill the apartment was. Ryo pushed himself up slowly. Akira had gone off to the bathroom to wash up. Ryo buckled his pants back up and for a moment wondered if he’d imagined that. No. He trusted his mind, his eyes. Akira came back a few minutes later. Ryo couldn’t see any sign of his horns now. He stood off to the side in front of Ryo and was looking for his stupid plastic cigarette. “It’s kinda late. I should get back before Kozo and Akiko worry too much.”

“I see,” Ryo said, keeping the disappointment from his voice.

Akira looked down at him a moment and Ryo was surprised when he bent over and pressed a kiss against his lips. This one only lasted a few seconds. Far too short a time for Ryo’s liking. Then Akira stood back up. “I’ll see you later, Ryo,” and he gave Ryo one of his perfectly wonderful smiles.

“Bye,” Ryo heard himself say as Akira left. Before he walked out the door he gave Ryo a cute little wave like he would have before being possessed by a demon.

Ryo slid down on the couch in a very undignified manner. Laying there the apartment seemed bigger and more empty than it ever had. He missed Akira already.

Pathetic.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked the story leave a comment! Even if to just say 'I love this story!' I appreciate all of them and let me know you appreciate me too.


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